My new years resolution: To find someone. To tell him everything that I held back before. To tell him how much I like him and to go against the fears of being hurt. To be able to completely trust him with my feelings and how fragile I am, not to be worried about the future and the possibility that he might leave. To be able to be me when I’m around him. No more hesitations this time. I may not meet anyone like the previous guy, but I will meet someone else. HELLO 2012! Im so done with 2011
“The most important things are the hardest to say. They are the things you get ashamed of, because words diminish them — words shrink things that seemed limitless when they were in your head to no more than living size when they’re brought out. But it’s more than that, isn’t it? The most important things lie too close to wherever your secret heart is buried, like landmarks to a treasure your enemies would love to steal away. And you may make revelations that cost you dearly only to have people look at you in a funny way, not understanding what you’ve said at all, or why you thought it was so important that you almost cried while you were saying it. That’s the worst, I think. When the secret stays locked within not for want of a tellar but for want of an understanding ear.”—Stephen King (via jorrty)
Today, Im grateful for those people in my life who pointed me in the right direction. Im appreciative of those willing to stick with me despite how weird and corky I am. During my moments of despair and being emotionally unstable, I know I can rely on those people. I have learned who is not worthy to be in my life anymore, and have accepted that if someone doesn’t want to stay, then I have no reason to chase after them and beg for them to reconsider. I am happy for what I do have, because I know many others have a lot less than what I have. I may not be at my strongest right now, but thank you for all those who do care about me and are willing to stick with me through the thick and thin.
Thats how I can describe my life right now. Nothing quite stands out to me as strikingly interesting or boring. Its just all a blur, what I expected, what it is, how people treat me, feelings lost, and feelings crushed.