I wish I knew what it is about certain people that irritate me so much. I almost feel half guilty finding them so annoying and obnoxious, but the group was so much more pleasant with the original numbers. I could honestly say whatever I want, and now there are limits because of connections to other people. And people not invited will be unhappy as to why there weren’t invited. I hate change like this.
I should have trusted my gut feelings from the beginning. I get so confused sometimes; who to trust and who not to trust. Its frustrating because I honestly don’t know. Ive never had the best of luck with relationships and friendships with people, and this just proves it once again. Sometimes my instincts are right, but sometimes I go against them in hopes that that person will change. When Im wrong, the feeling that I shared too much personal information with them kills me inside. They dont seem to value how safely I guard some things that I say or feel, nor do they understand how fragile i am.
I think the worst part is, I try to explain this whole situation to my mom, and she seems to disregard everything that went against me. Instead, she sides with the other people, defending their reasons for their immature act in hurting me. She often complains at how I dont open up to her, but its becoming increasingly difficult in that she can’t just listen. I need her to just listen to what Im saying and to take my side. I dont want to hear that I need to open up more and tell her more “things”. I need her to listen and just let me tell her everything without the feeling that she’s judging me. I need her to assure me that some things I struggle to tell her are meant just for her, not even my dad because there are things that he will never understand no matter how much I try.
“We cannot believe in fate for every situation. In relationships, ‘leaving it up to fate’ is just something we say to ourselves to help us cope with a problem we feel we cannot fix or do not want to work at fixing. When two people meet for the first time, we can say ‘fate brought them together.’ In an existing relationship, we cannot say ‘if we are meant to stay together fate will work it out.’ Nor can we say in the break up of a relationship, ‘if we are meant to get back together fate will intervene.’ Relationships count on us to work at them to keep them going or put them back together. Fate cannot do that for us. Sometimes it takes just one person to do the work at first to bring the other person around. If two people are sitting back waiting for fate to do all the work they will be waiting forever and nothing will change. Your problems cannot fix themselves and neither can time or fate. If you love and want someone, you need to be willing to do the work.”—Carol Woolverton (via lifeneeded)
“I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they’re right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.”—Marilyn Monroe (via curitas)
“I love you. I am who I am because of you. You are every reason, every hope, and every dream I’ve ever had, and no matter what happens to us in the future, everyday we are together is the greatest day of my life. I will always be yours.”—Nicholas Sparks (via jorrty)
“You need to learn how to select your thoughts just the same way you select your clothes every day. This is a power you can cultivate. If you want to control things in your life so bad, work on the mind. That’s the only thing you should be trying to control.”—Elizabeth Gilbert (via absea)